and it clicked.

WEH DAH START SEM DUA? APAKAH? AKU RASA AKU BARU JE SAMPAI SINI HARITU, MACAM MANA BOLEH DAH START SEM DUA?! :O

Oh my gosh.

My firecracker flash.

Sorry lambat sikit Tg, I've been extremely preoccupied dengan exam yang mencengkam jiwa. But they're done now, and I just wanna say Happy 20th Birthday you amazing awesome beautiful person you!

Hope you got my text. Hmm.

I miss you macam gila. I miss your loud and crazy laugh, your smile, and your sweet disposition. I miss our lepaking sessions kat Bangi. I miss you.

Haih. Anyway, hope you are doing well in your degree program. Mesti kau maintain awesome kau tu kan.

I love you so much. Happy 20th gorgeous. May Allah bless you always.

Brighter lights filled the nights.

No. More. Contract. Law. Foreveeeeeeeer!

Alhamdulillah exams are over yay! Dia bagi orang 'cuti christmas' hampeh cuti lah sangat, it was time off for us to cram in everything we'd learnt in the last 3 months and definitely not to relax. Time off to completely freak out about the papers that were going to kill us. My brain feels frazzled now, seriously. Otak rasa penat gila.

Ya lah, the whole study period jadi burung hantu. Stayed up all through the night (which is really long here cos pukul 4pm dah gelap), and slept in the morning. Sungguh kurang bagus. Tapi that was the only study pattern that worked for us i guess. Semangat pergi library pukul 6 petang until subuh kan yeah that's just what we do.

But I'm glad they did give us some time to study, kalau tak memang absolutely gerenti hancus, exam aku hantar kertas kosong. Well tak lah kosong, ada nama kat depan. At least masa dia bagi 'cuti' dapat jugak baca and buat notes sikit cos masa lecture memang aku tidur je, as evident by the pictures Mira took of me asleep on her shoulders hah.

Dah sekarang tak payah risau pasal exam dah woohoo --- kita risau pasal result pulak ya pff.

And with that, semester one is done done done. Omg, cepat gila. I've finished one semester. Ya Allah. Lusa dah start semester 2 (yes they gave us the weekend je to REALLY cuti how cruel.)

Semester 2: Public Law 2, Criminal Law, and dum dum dum, Tort Law. Yah.

Basically, semester 2 = cases. Lots and lots and lots of cases. I hope it'll be fun. Masa Asasi dulu tort was my favourite, tak tahu lah kalau kat degree ni sama. Madam Nazida did used to say that Asasi tu peringat 'Tadika Kemas' je, or pra-sekolah. Rindu pulak Asasi.

Well anywho, I survived one semester yeehaa. Terima kasih Ya Allah for allowing me to get through it, my first degree-level exams. Harap-harap pemeriksa lembut hati time marking kertas. Takut nya masyaAllah.

Oh, and thank you my dear Amirah Rushaliha for letting me be your roommate for the vast majority of the study period. And cooking delicious food :) Kesian you kena melayan kawan you ni hah yang tak boleh study kat hall sorang-sorang. I really do appreciate it. And you got to see the psychotic exam-stressed version of me yang melalak nasyid tiba-tiba and 'gelak tengok dinding' ngahaha I'm sorry about that. We'll get through all of this okay <3

Semester 2. Bring it on.
Eew.

Here and now.

Mengharap senang dalam berjuang, bagai merindu rembulan di tengah siang.

Circle me and the needle moves gracefully, back and forth. If my heart was a compass you'd be north.

3 days. Just 3 days. Hmm.

No use fretting, the show must go on.
Inhale, exhale. (Repeat)

Wintergreen daydream softly collided.

Heart stopping, ear popping, hair flipping, finger dancing madness.

Tick tock.

It's about time I get serious.

Oh, hi.

Kalau sambut tahun baru salah ke? I mean, it is the Gregorian calendar punya, takde kena mengena dengan orang Islam pun. Ada yang would go so far as to say that celebrating 2012 is syirik. So kita pun nak lah tahu betul ke ni cos I sure don't want to involve myself in syirik things.

Alhamdulillah, Ustaz Azhar kata nak sambut tahun baru memang tak salah sebab zaman sekarang banyak kalendar digunakan oleh manusia so macam-macam tahun yang orang sambut. Malaysia lain, Arab lain, Thailand pun lain. What makes it wrong is the way you celebrate the new year. Bila buat benda-benda yang dilarang Allah tu yang buat salah tu. That makes sense.

I hope this year will be good. I had a blast in 2011, definitely. Went through all sorts of experiences --- bad, good and awesome. And this year, I'm going to be 20. Oh my gosh tak tahu lah, I don't feel 20. I used to look at the kakaks and abangs that were 20 and be like, tua nyaaaa kau. And now here I am, 9 months away from being 'tua'. Fanbloodytastic.

But actually, I am looking forward to it. People say I look older than I am, so I may as well be older. Kan? Yes. In terms of resolutions, I gave up on all that crap years ago cos I never stick to them anyways haha. Konon-konon nak exercise, watch less TV, do this do that bla bla bla, hampeh.

Tapi if anything, I just pray that I can be a better person now. Constantly, not just this year. Hopefully Allah will help me be a better Muslim, a better daughter, a better friend. I'm in a situation I only ever dreamt I would be in before, and I need to be strong. Everything is new, it's all different and yes, I'm terrified.

Guide me oh Allah, I can't do this without you by my side.