I wonder, in the course of human history, how many instances have there been where people find themselves in a situation where they think,
"OH MY GOSH what exactly have I gotten myself into?"
Mesti tak terkira. Doii. So I am pretty sure this feeling I have is not foreign. Truth be told, I'm scared. Terrified. Freaking terrified. But excited all the same. Caterpillars are springing into butterflies in my tummy and I can't control it. I'm nervous. Anxious. Worried. God I am such a pessimist, cuba lah optimistic sikit.
Pasangkan niat yang betul. Kerana Allah. Kerana agama. InsyaAllah everything will be okay kan. It's signed and sealed now. Ibu, Ayah, it's for you too. I'll do my best, I promise.
Now if only Visas weren't so difficult to settle grr. And yes, I am grateful. Very.
p.s. ya tu baju graduasi tingkatan 5 haha. Which will also serve as baju raya this year. Yeay for recycling baju raya and saving money :D
In light of the recent week, I have realised more than ever that I hate drama. I've always avoided drama. I mean I used to have drama classes in Year 7 and I loved that, because it was fake drama. The creating and acting of scenes that we would then present in front of the class. That was a blast. But honestly I can always remember avoiding any form of drama since lower school. Same goes for middle school, high school, even during foundation, heck especially during foundation. I hate the emotional shitload that comes along with drama.
All the irrelevant issues that just stink to have to be dealt with. YES YES I know this is life and what's life without a little drama, right? Wrong. I just think there's a difference between necessary drama and "useless-mind stressing-people hurting" drama.
Y'know, necessary drama is like the kind of things you go through that makes you grow up and become a better person and all that life changing hoopla. Stuff that lets you learn about yourself and how to deal with issues. Then there's the "useless-mind stressing-people hurting" drama, the kind of issues that would better be left avoided. The drama that occurs when people say things, and you say things, and you hear things and it hurts. Penyakit dicari.
I do like the aftermath though. The part when all the crap is over and you realise you're alive and breathing and you're not 7 feet under. When you come out fighting and you realise you're stronger than ever and you feel all triumphant and awesome on the inside 'cos you didn't think all the mind-numbing drama stench would ever go away. And then it finally does, and you're okay. That part's pretty great.
I've come a long way from being a 6 year old at a reading competition. That part went by too fast.
There's this super duper awesome girl I know, and today she's 19. So I just wanna say,
WAAA HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY SITI NADIA ZAINUDDIN
Okay I'll try not to be all sad and soppy, tapi sumpah weh rasa macam baru semalam kita jumpa. Tapi sebenarnya tak kan. Actually dah 5 years. That's a looooooong time tau. I can still remember how we met. Masing2 masuk kelas baru masa Form 2, (2 Optimis) and masing2 takde kawan so just chop duduk tempat sama2 and poof! Best freaking friends.
Kan ada that line in Taylor Swift's song Fifteen when she says "You sit in class next to a red-head named Abigail and soon enough you're best friends." I think of you every time I hear that lyric. Minus the red hair lah.
I love thinking back to how we just clicked. Like, immediately. Thank you for keeping me company in what seemed like a weird place to be. Parts of high school are just such a blur, nasib baik kau ada.
You've been with me through all the joys and sorrows that teenage-hood has given me. What with the all the make ups and break up(s) haha, and I love you for that. I just hope that I've been there for you too.
See you've been with me even since my 'tudung-with-awning' and specs phase ngeh ngeh.
And Alhamdulillah, so far our friendship has withstood the test of time. I'm so glad we're still friends and nothing has changed. Even though our situations and locations are different now, I know I can still call you or text you whenever and wherever. I know I can talk to you about pretty much anything under the sky and you won't judge me. You listen. And I know I can trust you with just about anything.
So anyway, this song is for you. Kan aku dah dedicate yang Glee punya lama dah kan, tapi kau dengar laki ni nyanyi, sedap lah pulak. Haha.
Happy Birthday Nadiayam. Stay awesome, and don't ever change for anybody okay.