no doubt she's my number one.

Today, my awesome mum turns 44 hee HAPPY BIRTHDAY IBU!

I sent her flowers which were then delivered to our doorstep. She loves lilies so I sent her a really big bouquet of them. Totally worth it cos she was so surprised.

Malam 31st kat Malaysia tu terus skype date.

The thing that got me even more excited was my plan masa nak skype. Actually, I've been learning  a bit to play the guitar sejak sampai sini sebab jumpa kawan-kawan yang semua hebat gila siot doh jer kot main and they're nice enough to teach me the chords so I get to practice. So I decided, for my lovely Ibu's birthday, I wanted to play that super duper Maher Zain track - Number One For Me. That song macam perfect gila. 

So got the chords from Aliff the guitar genius and belajar main sikit. Couldn't really practice that much sebab musim exams sekarang tapi boleh lah jugak bagi ada bunyi lagu tu haha so I played it for her :)

It probably sounded horrible 'cos I don't exactly play the guitar that well plus my singing voice is really just blargh, I mean I'm not Yuna or Taylor kan but she still loved it anyway. She nearly cried at one point hmm sumpah terharu tengok Ibu happy macam tu.

Lepastu datang lah jiran tetangga, whom she met masa datang visit before this, and they all sang happy birthday for her which shocked her a bit 'cos they all kinda popped out ramai-ramai dari belakang pastu terus nyanyi. Comel je. 

I love you Ibu. And I miss you so so much tak sabar nak balik. I'm sorry for everything I've done that's hurt you. Thank you for sticking by me and keeping me going through all of this, especially now when I'm probably at my lowest point.

I'm completely blessed to be able to call you my Ibu and I thank Allah everyday for that. Happy birthday.

BIG HUG

Hehehe why you so sweet hah?! I love you. Love you. Love you.

Me, stressed?

Ada lah sikit.

That's the result of playing with white tack and markers :)

this learning process

You shouldn't put all your trust in people because they tend to let you down. 

Holding on, Hajar Mardhiah.

Aww thank you so so much Ja :') I miss you too sweetheart. Can't wait to go back home to see you! Hee tak lama dah hopefully.

And InshaAllah. I'm not letting go.

Spirit lifter 'cos my spirit needs lifting.

Tapi lihatlah hikmahnya disebalik tiap kejadian yang telah berlaku.

Tuhan tidak akan pernah mempersia-sia ketabahan seorang insan.

Dalam mengaharungi arus kehidupan yang penuh mehnah ujian.

Note to self.

It's merely a human thing to question why we have to go through such situations of distress and worry. Why do some things we face have to be so gut wrenchingly difficult? Why can't everything just be smooth sailing like we plan it to be? Like we hope it to be.

Why does God put us in these challenging situations? Why can't the path be straight and bump-free? Kenapa kena susah and tak menentu?

Lepas tu terfikir, biasanya kita doa dekat Allah untuk dekatkan hati kita dengan Dia supaya kita lagi rapat and lagi percaya pada ketentuan Dia kan. So maybe, that's Him answering our prayers. Bila kita doa untuk Tuhan kuatkan iman kita, perhaps the way to look at it is that Allah jawab doa kita dalam bentuk 'trials and tribulations'. Sebab orang yang hidup senang lenang tanpa cabaran akan lebih mudah untuk leka and jauh dari Allah, because he doesn't have to pray for anything since he always gets what he wants. Orang yang perlu hadapi kesusahan dan kepayahan hidup selalu kena mohon Allah tolong permudahkan perjalanan. Allah nak dekatkan kita dengan Dia. Nak kukuhkan iman kita.

When things get difficult, the tendency for humans is to ask for help. And when all is done, at the end of the day we realise that there is only so much we are capable of doing. So we bow down to the Almighty and ask for His help for us to face these challenges. Ini cara Allah nak bagi hati kita humble and kita tak bangga diri or riak. Supaya kita ingat nak cari Allah selalu. So that we always remember that in essence, we are powerless. We are nobody. We are absolutely nothing without Him. 

Bila solat tu, the act of 'sujud' itself is the absolute epitome of total submission. You are literally begging for His mercy and His forgiveness. You surrender your fate to Him. You acknowledge being completely helpless and that you need His help to get through. Kira-kira balik, sehari kita kena sujud 34 kali (yes I did the maths there haha) and it shows how much Allah loves us and wants us to remember Him. To keep us close to Him. Itu pun, hati kita kadang-kadang rasa jauh je dari Dia. Bila kena go through really hard situations baru nak ingat balik dekat Dia. Lumrah kehidupan. Though, bila dah sedar, we can always try to be better.

Just a little reminder to myself. I'm trying. 

Smile :)

hiatus

you catch my drift.

Count the stars, watch the waves, absorb the summer sun

and think of me.

Heh daydreaming again. Okay, sambung study.

Tell me more, tell me more.

AAAHHH KENAPA COMEL SANGAT NI?! Seriously, suka gila gila konsep video dia! So simple and cute and unique. And those two go perfectly well together 'cos sama-sama gila haha. 

Nak booking CST Productions jugak lah macam ni ngeheh. Sorry, just taking a break from 'not studying'.

There is no power and strength except through Allah. 

:)

"Kak yong, you have to start being an Optimist Prime, not a Negatron." 

When your little brother starts giving out motivational quotes. Sigh. I need to be more positive.

InshaAllah.

just us kids.

The most ideal way to study when you're both staying in different halls of residence but you need someone to be there cos you don't want to study alone at 2 in the morning. All hail skype and all its shining glory hehe.

Thanks teman i study pepagi buta Miwa :')

Oh and please don't mind the messy table, bila dekat nak exam memang jadi serabut tak tentu arah.